Jays in Borrowed Plumes
by PhilosopherCat
Summary: Jack Sparrow and Will Turner are desperate men on a mission, desperate men in lace.


Jack Sparrow had practiced his role very well, so well did he practice it that it was no longer a role. He had saturated himself with confidence in the present scheme. That, coupled with the fortuitous sale at a tailor's shop had decided it- today Jack Sparrow would conquer high society.

William Turner was there too. They were both dressed like fops.

"William," he called over his shoulder as he passed Mr Turner on his way up to a great house. "Posture." Will Turner stretched out his spine and moved into the open space of the gravel walk. His stride was somewhat less extravagant, less audacious than that of his companion. Jack stopped to let him catch up. "And please, try to lose the look?"

"What look?"

"The I'm-a-pirate-in-disguise-look. You keep darting glances at everything. Stop it!" They continued to ascend the walk towards the great house before them at a more moderate pace. As they passed an elderly gentleman walking in the opposite direction, Jack's heels rapidly left the ground as he tripped along on his toes. "Lovely day, sir? Capital!" The gentleman nodded in acknowledgement. Will realised in time that he was hovering over Jack's shoulder in a vain attempt not to be seen.

"I feel so absurd," he whispered. "In… all this... lace." Will shifted abruptly back upon his heels as Jack spun around and peered at him through a spyglass suspended from a chain around his neck.

"Tush, William! We are but two merry fops come to relieve the well born ladies of the utter tedium of Regency gentlemen. The ladies- they love the lace, especially the cravats. I did try to encourage you to take the really big one. You will regret that, your doubting of my wisdom on that score-" he paused, "Eh, what?!" He shouted to no one in particular- except for some birds which squawked and flew off in protest.

Within the parlour, Will remained uneasily occupying the side of one elaborate doorframe. His ill ease was palpable, as the aristocrats surveyed him one by one. He turned pale as a young, spirited girl babbled on as she passed: "Is that a fop? Lord, he's a sorry thing! All that lace! He looks like my mother's laundry."

And where was Jack? Will's wrathful eyes scanned the room as he adjusted the ponderous weight of white, rolling curls strapped onto his head. Finding himself obliged to look for Jack, he secured his wig, straightened his waistcoat and attempted to navigate his way through the room, his sparkly blue heels tapping timidly against the tiles until he heard the unmistakable sound of Jack's laughter. Will leaned around a corner, adjusted wig, and blinked in surprise.

"But then my crew mutinied, stole the charts to Isla de la Muerta. The gold was curst you know? Gad! Can you imagine what something like that would've done to my mechlin?" A bevy of ladies laughed softly in reply. "So, anyway, I ended up being caught!"

"Oh no," laughed another young girl.

"Oh yes! Caught, red-handed! Or, rather... wristed!" Again the laughter. "Commodore Norrington exposed me- Come ladies, come! Let me have that-" Jack snatched up a fan from the hands of one of his admirers. "I refuse to let you think such things of me. I will loose my countenance, begad!"

At that moment a butler walked in and announced that luncheon was being prepared. Jack looked bitterly disappointed.

"You had to go an do that, didn't you?" he sighed. "Well, since he has interrupted me, we must continue this charming conversation later! That is, if you're not afraid to be in company with an actual real life bona fide genuine person of a piratical persuasion?"

The ladies rose and exchanged glances as they followed the butler into the dinning hall. Two of the more spirited ladies paused to look down at Jack before leaving. " you are almost as great a liar as Gulliver, I'll be sworn!"

"But it's true!" He cried. The ladies, laughing, departed. Jack played with the fan while Will sat himself next to Jack, rather bemused. "I told you it would work." For a moment shook his head in amazement until his wig slipped over his eyes. "Oh, here- you'll hurt yourself... Honestly, William, you have to be the worst fop I've ever heard of!"


End file.
